NCLEX-RN

NCLEX-RN.  Only one of the most difficult and important tests of my life.  The exam that determines whether I'm a licensed nurse or not.  The exam where "everyone walks out feeling like they failed."  The exam that analyzes your every answer to determine which question to give you next, up to the point where you should have a 50% chance of answering each question correctly.

Needless to say, NCLEX-RN is the source of more than just a little stress in every nursing student's life.  To me, this is the test that determines whether I am fit to be a nurse or not, meaning it determines my forever future! Because of the immense weight of this exam, I kept it mostly secret.  I only told a handful of people that I was taking it, and that was pretty much a need-to-know thing.

I feel like my experience with the NCLEX-RN was unusual.  It took me 2 months to get authorized to take the exam, and by that time I was working out of state at a summer youth program called EFY.  I hadn't studied for at least 3 weeks, but I signed up to take the exam just 3 days after 2 exhausting weeks at EFY.  I was mildly panicking when I received confirmation of my exam date.

I prepared carefully and quickly for the exam, the select few people aware of this monumental event fasted and prayed with me.  Thankfully, when the time came, I was surprisingly calm, despite how little last-minute studying and review I'd completed.  I walked into the exam surprisingly confident and unconcerned about the outcome.  I walked out glad to be finished, though anxious to receive my results.  Just today, I was able to check online and I'm pleased to say, I am a newly licensed, registered nurse. (Officially, my results won't come for another month, but the state of California recognizes that I can legally practice as a registered nurse which means... I PASSED!)

I want to send out a major THANK YOU to everyone who supported and encouraged me, everyone who helped me get here, and everyone who sent up prayers in my behalf because you really do make a difference.

How badly do you want to be a nurse?

This seems to be the theme of my life lately.

I've applied for more than 10 jobs and received 7 negative responses.  The rest,... I haven't heard from at all.

I'm waiting, and waiting for my authorization to take the NCLEX-RN exam so I can get my registered nurse license.

Then, today, I find out that authorization may not be coming because my application is incomplete.  Apparently, the Board of Nursing hasn't received my transcript yet, even though it should have been mailed to them a week ago.  I'm hoping that they actually have my transcript and that I received the notification in error related to delayed processing, or crossing paths in the mail, or something.  Unfortunately, I can't double check with the Board of Nursing for another 4 weeks due to the "high volume of calls" they receive.

I'm bummed.  And a little frustrated.  Several of my friends already have jobs and are passing the NCLEX-RN.  I want to be a real live nurse so badly, but that just isn't happening very fast.  I never thought the time spent after nursing school would be so challenging.

How badly do I want to be a nurse?  Badly enough to deal with the frustration and disappointment of hunting for a job in this economy.  Badly enough to accept the fact that I have an impressive education history, but a wimpy employment history, in a job market that values experience above most everything else.  Badly enough to know that no matter what happens, I cannot and will not give up on my dream.

How badly do I want to be a nurse?  ...that's a question not even worth answering.