Stargazing and an Epiphany

Saturday night, I went with a bunch of friends up to Ice House Road, Pollock Pines, to go stargazing.  It was a beautiful night.  The sky was clear, we were far above any light pollution from the city, and it wasn't as cold as I had expected.  There were several shooting stars throughout the night.  And I swear, there were more stars visible than I'd seen in the planetarium when I took astronomy.

This was the point where I had my epiphany.  One of my friends pointed out that seeing so many stars in such a vast, open space makes him feel small, which he didn't really like.  Personally, I love seeing so many stars and God's beautiful creations.  I never really think about how small and insignificant we really are until I look at the big, intergalactic, eternal picture.  And unlike my friend, I realized,

I like to feel small.

That sounds so strange, but I like to know there is more out there than what I can see and feel around me.  I even like when I find people that know more than me.  Granted, I'm not so fond of people that try to one-up me, especially in my own strengths.  For some reason, I like the humbling experience of realizing I don't know everything--so long as that realization doesn't come from someone being cocky.  (I used to be one of those "know-it-all"s, but I like to think I've changed.)

I love to learn.

If I find out that you know something interesting that I don't, I will likely ask you questions.  Pick your brain.  Learn what I can.  Until my curiosity is satisfied.

And I think this kind of brings me back to my post "What are YOU thinking about?"  I realize, I am kind of a know-it-all, and that is intimidating.  But really, I don't care if you know anything about nursing, or physiology, or chemistry, or biology, or mathematics.  I like when my friends have different backgrounds and strengths because then we lift each other up.  We teach each other.  We learn together.  And to me, that's what friendships and relationships are all about, people working together to better themselves and each other.  So, instead of being intimidated by intelligent, or experienced, or brave, or bold people, I think we should seek them out.  If you meet someone that knows something different from you, has a different opinion, or even just a different personality, become their friend.  Maybe you can learn something from them and they can learn something from you at the same time.  You'd be surprised.

California State Fair

Today was a fun day at the state fair.  Yes, it was freaking hot outside, but it was still really fun.

Why?

Well, I nanny this cute little girl, she's 1 1/2 years old, and we just have fun together.  And today, I got to take her to the fair with me.  It was a cool experience to get to see everything from the point of view of a one year-old.  She loved the animals and wanted to pet every one.  She also wanted to be out running around, but her little legs tired so quickly, which meant she wanted to be carried.  I'm so thankful for strollers!  I was even fortunate enough to get her to take a nap.  (It was only 30 minutes, but when she woke up, she was happy and ready to get going again.)

I now also realize why going to the fair has never been a big deal in my family.  It's a long, hot day.  And when you have little kids, you have to be creative and find things that interest them.  Sure, if you're made of money it would be easy because then you would just pay for all of the bells and whistles, but if you're not, like myself, then you learn to enjoy the free attractions.  :-)

Anyway, it was a fun day.  If possible, you should visit the California State Fair, it's cool.  :-)

Going Public

My blog used to be "private" and only close friends and family were allowed to read my posts.  Now, I am here to tell you that my blog is now open to public viewing.  So, feel free to read and comment, but if you post inappropriate comments, I will delete them.

What Are YOU Thinking About?

I've had a lot of time to just ponder my future, where will life take me, what can i plan for, is the future any brighter than the present... etc.  One of the topics I most frequently pause on is, of course, love.  I've had a LOT of time to ponder this and reflect on my lack of "true love," and honestly, it sucks!  It seems like every other song on the radio is about some love story, or somebody's love-life gone wrong, etc.

I love the idea of being in love, spending eternity with one special someone, having a family, having someone that is always there to listen and love me.  I am not the kind of girl that gets asked out often, in fact I've probably been on... 5 or less *real* dates.  Yeah, I'm almost 20 years-old and I've never been kissed, only had one boyfriend, and hardly have any dating experience.  I'm kind, I try to get guys attention--the *right* way--by dressing modestly, being friendly, smile, talk, laugh,...  Yet, no bites.  Seriously!?

The one excuse I've heard for why one guy didn't like me, was because I'm intimidating.  WHAT?  I thought guys *liked* confidence.  But then again, I am a brainiac, I like to lead in groups, I'm independent, I have goals and direction in my life.  Are those things so bad?  No?  Then why does everyone act like they are?!  Just because you're not on the same path as I am, it doesn't mean I'm not interested.  I'm not asking for a marriage proposal, I just want a first date, heck I'll even settle for some guy to just *notice* me.

I feel like I'm doing everything right; I go to church, I read my scriptures, I go to church activities, I attend the temple regularly,...  What am I doing wrong?  Where is my Prince Charming?  ...Heck, I'll even take a Beast.  I just want to get out of the slump I've been in my whole life, the rut called "friends."  It's the worst ditch to ever be stuck in because there really is no way to get out of it.  I'm spinning my tires, going no where, and I have no clue what to do next.  How am I going to dig my way out, sling some mud, and go out on a date?  Do I have to take the first step, like I've done my whole life?  Sure, I like to be a leader, but I also like the traditional model of dating, especially since I feel like guys would be even more intimidated if *I asked *them out. :-/